Just a letter I started writing to you but then realized there was just no reason to complete it or even send it as its not us who decided to leave but life…

I don’t know whether I want to move on to something new, stay where I am or run back to my happy past. Actually, I know what I want. I wish today was like yesterday, I wish present was like my past. I wish as happy as I was but things pass by and never come back…life runs like the water in a river. We live moments only once and then we have to get up and make a new beginning. I could try to bring everything that made me happy back to my present life but then things wouldn’t be the same as they were back then and I’ll be sad and confused once again. But I don’t want to let go…however I don’t want to be stuck on my past too. The solution to that problem is living the present with the memories and the things that made me happy in the past and make a new start with these in my hands. But in this situation this is something impossible, oh I how I wish it wasn’t. So what I currently do is trying to find new things, better than the last ones, that will make me happy again and with which I will make a brand new beginning. I found lots of “things” that seemed helpful…but none of them truly matched. Cause its like I’m a piece of puzzle and I found the one and only piece that matched and then lost it. But puzzle pieces have four sides right? So I have four chances of finding my match. So I keep on looking for something or better, somebody who may not be the same with the last piece ..